Saturday, October 17, 2009

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch.

As I stated in my post from 7/19 , *Nurturing Your Inner Bitch* Being bitchy is a very positive character attribute and I would encourage more men and women to rejoice in their bitchiness. 

I am teaming up with Bitchogram, a service that allows you to anonymously text and email bitchy remarks (though, frankly, I sign mine) -> see ad to the right , because I think it’s a hilariously good fit for me and of course, part of the proceeds will benefit my love for jewelrymaking, and keep me knee deep in pie. #ilovepie

The following are a short list of suggested Bitchograms, culled from a variety of sources, because, let’s face it, some of you are just too damn nice for your own good and you seriously need my help. 

Bitchograms to Boys from Girls:

* I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

* Don't think of it as losing, think of it as getting beat by a girl

* I'm not a tease, I’m just a reminder of what you can't have 

* It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt 

* It takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me. 

* Everyone’s entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege

* How about never? Is never good for you?

* Click your heels and say "I NEED A LIFE, I NEED A LIFE"

* I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

 Bitchograms to Girls from either Girls or Boys : 

* Good friends will help you move. REALLY good friends will help you move bodies." 

* I am NOT a Bitch, I only play one on Twitter

* I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

* When I’m faced with a difficult task, pass it on to a lazy person like you and you’ll figure out an easier way to accomplish it. 

* A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be in the next cell saying "that was fucking awesome!” 

* Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 

* Roses are red violets are blue 
sugar is sweet and so are you, 
but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead 
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head 

* Your friends are worth more than you think--$5.99 at least

* Kirstie Alley called. She wants her ass back. Meet me at the Gym at 7 a.m.

That’s it. You’re Welcome. If any of you are interested in adding Bitchogram to your own blog/website please leave your info with me at