Sunday, October 25, 2009

Coffee Tawk

I Found God
At the bottom of my coffee pot
Where the grounds lay mocking me
All Alone
Chewing my last bubblegum
I said "Where you been?" 
He said "Ask anything"

(to the tune of the Fray's "You Found Me" )

I recently took a little survey among my *eyeroll* legions and legions of twitter friends. "Would you rather live in a world without coffee or chocolate? " I just love asking stupid and annoying questions. If for no other reason than the stupid and annoying responses I get are easily TWICE as stupid and annoying as the original question posed. 
As I already made myself a cup this morning and--true to form--lost it somewhere in the house before it was even cool enough to drink, I thought it would be a good time to, well, talk caffeine.

I happen to be married to a tea drinker, for starters. Yeah, I know what you're thinking- "Jesus, God, Sueanne, not only did you marry someone who doesn't like PIE, #ilovepie but he won't even drink COFFEE?! How did this happen??!! I know, I know and... no, he won't drink coffee unless it just happens to taste like tea. Opposites attract. #gofigure . He has many other redeeming qualities. I digress. So... when I make a pot of coffee, guess what? I'll be drinking alone again. 

This drinking an entire pot of coffee business really can't be healthy, but that didn't stop me from ordering coffee from my friend
@suesshirtshop on Twitter, which gets delivered in handy single pot servings every other month. It's called Javafit, and no, nobody's paying me to rant about them. Here's the deal though. This coffee has vitamins in it. And antioxidants, energy boosters other than the caffeine, and all that other crap that Oprah always says is so good for you. How cool is that shit, I ask you. It's very cool. Guilt free. And it tastes really good. 

As far as my survey went, not surprisingly, most of the women who answered would absolutely not give up their chocolate. A few shrieked at me for making them choose. Guess what? I WOULD NOT GIVE UP COFFEE. Only one guy said he'd take the chocolate over coffee, but frankly, he's crazy anyway and probably just said that to goad me and get slapped around. 

That's all I have for now. I REALLY need to find my coffee cup. Can't make the jewelry without it.


  1. Not even a choice for me. Plenty of other sweets on the planet...but only ONE coffee! I'm a pot-a-dayer too.

  2. I so agree as I sit here with my cup in hand trying to gather my thoughts...pull my head out of the darn clouds, and face the reality of each day, so YES, I NEED COFFEE!

  3. I refuse to make a decision between the two.Can't live without either. :)

  4. I once found Jesus at the bottom of my coffee pot. He had drunk the last of my coffee! Needless to say, he didn't "get any" for a week.

  5. It would sadden my greatly to go without chocolate. It would render me homicidal to go without coffee.